Positive Limits For Ourselves

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As someone who has teetered on either the manic or depressive side of bipolar, I’ve never been very good with limits. I’m not good at saying no to other people, let alone myself. I’ve only recently discovered, with the help of my sister and my sponsor, that no all by itself is all that’s needed. No long, drawn-out explanations about why I can’t do this or that . . . just – no. 

So – in keeping with the theme of taking care of ourselves, I’m still in a bit of a funk and awaiting lab results on Monday that may tell me why – I’m setting some limits. They are subject to change, because I’m new at this, and it’s okay to change our minds while we’re learning.

My therapist taught me to think of all of my “stuff” as one big file cabinet. So, for instance, I’m in the “blog post” file drawer right now. All the other drawers are closed and locked. This is all I’m focused on. That’s one way I limit myself. It’s also known as mindfulness. I learned this technique when I spent two years in a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy group. I could spend a whole blog post on mindfulness; we won’t go there right now. 😉

There are seven days in the week. I am committed to post in my blog on six days right now. So far I haven’t made it all six days. That’s a work in progress. I won’t post on Sunday. Sunday is a worship and decompression day for me. Another limit.

Some people lift us up and some people – well . . . they don’t. Whether their intentions are well-meaning or not, I can’t say. I only know that my hope is to surround myself with people who lift my spirits and tell me the truth in a way that doesn’t blow me out of the water. 😛 Limits. A very good thing.

I am reading and reviewing books for a blog, the first to appear on the 20th at Readers Realm. I love to read, and I love to review, but I also need to let myself rest when I need to.

Getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep (which hasn’t happened at all lately because I’m ill), remembering to eat something, keeping hydrated, petting Lucy and staying connected with people on a regular basis are all crucial.

Attending at least 3-4 Al-Anon meetings is my most important of all issues on here. Without Al-Anon, sometimes I think I wouldn’t even be here. 

What are your limits? What are your no’s in life? How will you take care of yourself this weekend? 

Peace out.

 

Comments

  1. I keep trying to turn my limits into stone walls with broken glass on top, and then trying to defend them with my life, even after it’s become clear that the boundary has moved away.

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    • Ouch and hugs! I’ve done that too, and still get there sometimes. I think we all do, when we’re honest with ourselves. The trick is to get and keep those limits flexible. As Erin said, we are changing humans in an ever changing world. We deserve to cut ourselves a break. Emphasis on the word “positive” in limits. 😉

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  2. My only quibble is with your limit on when it’s okay to change our minds. We change, life changes, the people around us change. It’s not just at the beginning of something that we’re allowed to change our minds.

    Oh, and sleep? Yes, I’m actually going to do that this weekend. 😉

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    • Oh, the changing my mind thing wasn’t a part of the limits, Erin. It was a condition on the fact that my limits might change as I grow and learn. 😉 And you’re absolutely right. All those things evolve in our lives, making it perfectly healthy and normal to change our minds.

      And I’m glad you’re getting some sleep this weekend! 😀

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