Falling

NB: This blog used to be called K2together: Yarns and Words. If you came here looking for that, you are in the right place. 😉

Welcome to my first ever post for the Insecure Writers Support Group. Ahem. My name is Chris, and I’m an insecure writer. And, may I just say, I’m insecure about this post? I thought and thought and prayed and prayed about what I wanted to say this morning. Then I realized it was almost like Bonnie Friedman swatting flies in Writing Past DarkI was distracting myself from just writing the dang post by thinking about it so much and what your reactions to it might or might not be.

I keep a Where Is Taylor word count meter on my blog (you can see it you scroll down a little), even though it’s so totally embarrassing. Out of 63,000 words I’ve only written 2,154. And that’s after I dropped out of Camp NaNoWriMo for June.

Dropping out was actually a good decision for me, though. I thought I wrote well under pressure, you know? Like usually I do well with the November NaNo (unless I fall catastrophically behind), but this past November I wrote crap. I went back to read it recently, and I just cried. It was that bad.

So when I noticed that I’d fallen way behind on Camp NanoWriMo because of some family issues, I panicked. I knew I’d be pumping out that same kind of drivel again.

Instead, I just put my head down, went onto Write or Die for half an hour and wrote a little over 1k. This time, because I wasn’t under any pressure, not even of my own, it felt just like Bonnie describes it in her book, like I was falling into a dream state. I was descriptive, which is usually my prickly pear. I could feel Taylor developing in 3d while my fingertips touched the keys. It’s almost like . . . you know how you can feel the rest of the world just kind of “go away” when you get to that place in really good writing?

Yeah. I was there for a little over 1k. And I don’t think I can fall again. It rarely happens for me.

Usually I’m afraid to touch my writing because I want it to be something it can never be. I’d rather read and hide behind others’ words.

Peace out.

~~This has been a post for the Insecure Writers Support Groupwhich happens the first Wednesday of each month. 

Comments

  1. Hi there 🙂

    Just stopping by from the IWSG

    Why do we torture ourselves eh? 😦

    Well done for doing Nano! I can only manage it once a year in November lol

    Chin up honey (gawd, I’m so British lol) and just look at it that any amount if words you produce for Nano is an achievement 🙂

    Xx

    Like

    • Hey Vikki, and thanks for stopping by!

      Yeah, I need to be much more positive and pat myself on the back for any words at Nano, I know you’re right.

      Hey, once a year is plenty!! Good on you! 😉

      -Chris Xo

      Like

    • Hi MJ, Thanks for stopping by! Old ghosts, MJ. Still trying to rid my head of old ghosts is all. And you know they can sing out pretty loud at times. That’s okay. I’m stronger every day, and the more I write the more they seem to just fade away. 😀 Eventually they’ll be mere vapor.

      Like

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