Freedom Is Accepting Yourself Right Where You’re At

A few posts ago I declared myself a fraud and think I also said something about being worthless, perhaps. I would like takesies-backsies on both of those.

Since then, I have spoken with both my Al-Anon super sponsor, and my therapist, Heather, and they have helped me learn something valuable.

I thought I was a fraud because the nearly year-long time I had spent going to Al-Anon had only gone into my head-sense, but had not traveled the 12 or so inches to my heart.

Both my super sponsor and my T. heartily disagreed, and I have to say I finally understand. I’ll explain why. It takes everyone WHATEVER IT TAKES and AS LONG AS IT TAKES to get to the next level in the program.

Just like it might have taken my sister getting arrested to get straight finally, it might have taken MY SISTER GETTING ARRESTED for me to take the focus totally off her and put it completely on me where it belongs. I gotta tell you it feels weird, but freeing, because I get to learn about my needs, and get to learn a lot about myself for the first time in a long time.

I don’t jump every time the phone rings anymore. In fact, the phone is eerily quiet. I’m journaling, and I’m eight days self-injury free.

The freedom that comes with accepting yourself right where you are means you don’t need to pretend. You don’t need to say you’re fine when you’re not. You don’t have to paste on a fake smile until your face hurts at a party. If you need to you can slip out and take a break. Or *gasp* not go at all. You don’t have to put yourself in situations that threaten the core of what you value, if you know those values. If you don’t – there’s freedom in working that all out.

The best part is we are not alone wherever we are on our journey. Our Higher Power (mine is God) is with us, talking us through it, holding our hand at the scary parts, walking ahead of us, lighting the way. He’s been there before. He’s done that. He knows exactly what it feels like. More importantly, He knows us way better than we even know ourselves.

This has been a post for the Christian Writers Blog Chain. The theme for July is FREEDOM!

As always, love you big. Peace out.

Comments

  1. Welcome to the chain!! There’s something so freeing about not having to perform for other people, isn’t there? You just jumped a major hurdle. Keep on keepin’ on. 🙂 (Sorry I’m posting so late this month.)

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  2. Welcome to the blog chain, Chris! My apologies for not commenting sooner; I’m playing catch-up with my reading and replying.

    Just want you to know I’m celebrating your freedom with you. Wherever we are in life, whatever we’ve gone through, learning to love ourselves so that we can love others is a big step, one that God wants us to make both for ourselves and for His glory. I’m glad you’re walking that journey of freedom. 🙂

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  3. Welcome to the Blog Chain, Chris! I’m late visiting and commenting on the blogs. But I’m here. I love your blog, I love your honesty, and I love your journey. Keep fighting. It’s worth it! You’re worth it. Jesus loves you deeply, profoundly, and completely. Never forget that, okay?

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    • Thank you Sandi, it’s good to meet you – thank you for stopping by. I’m not sure I’m as worth it as you think, but my sponsor tells me that’s the chemical imbalance at work. 🙂 So, fixable anyway, with God’s help and wisdom of the doctors.

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  4. Welcome to the blog chain Chris, and thank you for sharing just a personal but powerful post.

    It sounds like you’ve been through a hard journey, but praise God that you are moving forward. All the best for your continued recovery.

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  5. First thanking you for following my blog, but above all thank you for this wonderful post.

    And just like http://twitter.com/ChrisVonada said,” God does not ever make mistakes,”
    in his eyes we are all wonderful .

    I used to worry lot and many times i have been very hard and unkind to my self in areas where i knew i have messed up. Then one day a friend of mine told me that God is very good to us all .

    God is very good to us even if we are foolish sometimes ,god is still very good to us even if we sin. This opened my eyes and gave me great courage, god loves me just the way that i am, even in my most confused days where my faith in him is shaken.,his love is free and unconditional.

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    • I agree. His is the only love I trust free and clear. Thank you so much for your support, and for following my blog as well!

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  6. Oh, Chris, as I read your post, I just wanted to give you a big momma-hug to let you know how much you are loved. And then I was going to say what Cindee and Carol said. I’m so happy you are improving. May God’s love surround you and fill your heart to overflowing.

    “Did I not tell you and promise you that if you would believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God?” John 11:40 Amp

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    • Thanks, Lynn! This was a really hard post to write. I debated with myself for revealing so much, but I’ve always been this way with my readers, so I didn’t want to stop now…. And God already knows everything! Thank you for the blessing!

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  7. Congratulations, Chris. God gave us this one and only earthly life and He made us exactly how He intended and then put us in families we couldn’t choose ourselves–for whatever reason He meant. So happy to see your progress and understand who was walking beside you as you moved forward.

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    • Wow, Carol, you totally get me. How did you do that? 🙂 Thanks for reading and thanks for stopping by. That’s exactly what I was trying to say and you read all that in my post.

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  8. Hi Chris…oh…the joy of freedom in Christ! Bless you for your honesty and willingness to just be real. To begin to discover who we are in Christ is the most incredible freedom, the greatest love, the deepest joy imaginable, and it only gets better with every passing moment, not problem- or pain-free, but soul free, because we know the One who created us, the One who will never let us go, never leave nor forsake us, the One who loves us so much He chose to suffer and die in our place. Praying that you hear His still small voice delighting over you with singing, loving you beyond imagination, daily freeing your soul to take wing and fly as you surrender all to Him. And welcome to the CW Blog Chain!

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    • Thank you Cindee! I’m overwhelmed and don’t quite know what to say except thank you, especially for the prayers. 🙂

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