1. NO is your favorite word, so it’s never a problem for you to say it when someone makes a request.
2. You never do anything for someone that they are quite capable of doing for themselves.
3. You aren’t loaded up with guilt and shame for things you didn’t do.
4. You detach with love, and not resentment.
5. Far from perfect, you are a work in progress, and you take your own inventory (take stock of what’s going on inside) regularly.
6. You don’t worry about what the loved one in your life might do, say…etc.
7. You take care of yourself.
Peace out.
Recovery Along Route 66 
Pingback: Codependency for Dummies by Darlene Lancer, MFT |
The older I get, the more I can say that two-letter word, which is far better than feeling like I have to accomadate everyone, which I don’t, so it’s really quite freeing.
LikeLike
That’s interesting, because I have found that myself. I don’t know if it’s that when we are younger we feel a need for approval *more* . . . and as we grow older that need lessens and lessens or we begin to realize we can’t please everyone.
LikeLike
We are a work in progress. God grants me grace every day, not to purposely make mistakes but to go to Him in prayer whenever I do. Great post. Thanks.
LikeLike
Yes, our God’s grace is not something to take advantage of but something to know is always there . . . that we *can* crawl into our Abba’s lap when we know we have messed up. He will never turn away from us. Others may, but He will not.
LikeLike
This is a rather random comment, but — if your relationship with somebody is healthy, you can do many of those things and NOT have it be a problem. Sure, Neil’s capable of getting his own breakfast, but many mornings I make it just because I like doing things for him, and because I know he does things for me, too. Love genuinely wants to give. Love cares what the other person thinks.
I think that might be why it’s easy to miss the early warnng signs that a relationship is deteriorating — it’s often hard to when the other person’s problems have taken over one’s life, or when love has become obligation..
LikeLike
That’s exactly right, Bonnie. Codependency is a very slippery slope. How do you know when it’s too much? Those are very good things you’ve brought up and a great idea for another blog topic! 😉
LikeLike
These are brilliant, Chris. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
Thanks Carol! And thanks for lifting the pressure…. 🙂
LikeLike