Okay, besides working on my short story, crocheting, and struggling with a surprise gift for my mom’s 90th birthday, I’m hoping to start a Video Blog on November 1st. Of this year. Yep, that will be the same month as NaNoWriMo, but – hey! It – hopefully – won’t take me all day every day to write 50k by November 30th. So, after talking with my therapist, I decided to make a pro and con list about it.

See, my therapist thinks that because I had  and sometimes still have terrible self-consciousness while walking Pookie, it might not be the best thing for me; vlogging, that is. I walk Pookie daily (unless it rains too freaking long like it did yesterday) and it’s better. If I focus on what I’m doing, walking Pookie, I don’t really have time to wonder what everyone else is thinking.

So, here’s the list:

Pros:

• I could possibly help raise awareness about mental illness and all that it entails
• It’s been said, and (even though I love to write) it’s sometimes right; a picture speaks a thousand words.
• It would challenge my vulnerability
• If just one person is made to feel not so alone, it will beat all the negative replies I might get
• Being my authentic self, not worrying whether my hair is a mess, or not worrying about the scars on my face and hands, will be a massive breath of fresh air
• Nothing is more real than the truth staring you (the watcher – lol) in the face

Cons:

• I might not raise any awareness at all. People might be saturated with mental illness and just “change the channel.”
• Maybe a picture does speak a thousand words, but my writing is kinda decent, right?
• I would be completely vulnerable, like those nightmares when you wake up, walk in late for an exam, and just then realize you’re entirely naked.
• Everyone I know and even people I hardly know at all will see me.
• What if I totally fudge it?
• I’m too ugly. What if I make people gag just looking at my face?