From al-anon

D is for Disease

I am such a total loser. I’m so sorry about yesterday. Alcoholism is a family disease. It is said that the age the person starts using is the age they generally stop growing emotionally. I had never realized that all the time my sister was sick, I was getting sick right along with her. That’s why I was in those roles, of my own choosing, and why I’m still in them, and in therapy learning how to get out of them. I’ll keep this short and sweet, since we all have many blogs we want to read. When I first…

B is for Blaming

My sister’s three children, who are grown adults now — the eldest is forty, and the younger two are in their late thirties — like to blame her for the way their lives are now, drawing on countless stories of a “horrific” childhood raised by a sometimes absent practicing alcoholic. This is always heartbreaking for Carol but she has learned to say “Goodbye, I’m hanging up now,” when it gets redundant and too difficult.  I’m sure their childhoods were indeed difficult, but at what point does one say, “What’s happening in my life now is up to me. These are my choices. No one…

A is for Acceptance

Acceptance is a difficult concept to deal with, even if we’re not talking about alcoholism. None of us wants to be unacceptable, or excluded from a group, whether we’re small children, adolescents, or older adults. The synonyms for acceptance are many, among them approval and recognition. I know a young woman who is gay. She has found a woman she loves, is very happy, and engaged to be married. Most people she knows are very happy for her happiness, but not all are as accepting. Some are even judgmental, saying she and her partner would always be welcome in their home, but they would…

In Anticipation of April’s A-Z Challenge

April is A-Z Challenge month. I have tried this several times and been successful sometimes, unsuccessful others. This year, my theme will be alcoholism, through the eyes of one who has (a) loved or lived with an alcoholic or (b) is codependent. Sometimes the two are interchangeable, as in my case. Though I usually like to surprise you, Dear Reader, with the “letter” topics as they come, this year I have decided to give you little previews ahead of time and let you chew on them a bit. So, the first six topic posts will be: Acceptance Blaming Compulsive Behavior…

How I Survived A Life-Threatening Illness

“Change is inevitable We can depend on that. By letting go of our efforts to influence the future, we become freer to experience the present, to feel all of our feelings while they are happening, and to more fully enjoy those precious moments of joy.” –Courage to Change, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon So, you might think, as you read this, that bringing humor to the situation is insanity. But you know me and my sarcastic wit. Would you recognize me any other way? 😉 Besides, the alternative is too stupid to consider, and useless. Plus really, who…

Log Cabin Retreat Throw 

I’m finally back into crochet again after not seriously touching it since April of 2016. By the way, do you say ‘two thousand and sixteen’ or ‘twenty sixteen?’ I say the latter. It just seems simpler, less syllables or something  (and I’m all about saving syllables!). This Log Cabin Retreat Throw is supposed to be different colors, but it’s been so long for me that I lost confidence in changing colors. For Pete’s sake, I forgot how to do a chain and had to look it up! 😲 This throw will go on the back of the couch when Mom…

Find the Spy

We all know learning does not always come easily, in fact sometimes it’s at a high price. I’ve learned something in the past six months which has become my new mantra, and it goes like this: “I don’t need to explain myself.” Period. (Except probably to a boss, if I want to keep my job.) Now, I could think it’s a waste to learn something valuable in my early 50’s, but try to just look at it as added wisdom, and practice it. That’s the ticker. It’s one thing to know, and quite another to do. Wow. I almost emotionally vomited all…

Death Wears White

Hi. Hey there. *tap-tapping on the mike* Lou, is this thing on? Yeah? Okay, cool. That’s cool. So anyway, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Chris, the owner and sometimes maintainer of this blog. I’m in the middle of changing the main content, but I can’t really figure out what I want…

Holidaze

The holidays are a weird time for lots of people. It can be fun and sentimental if we have family to count on. But what if we don’t? What about those of us who are all alone, or estranged from family members? What if we’re homeless, and the best hope we can get tonight is…

George Winston And My Piano Lesson

It’s ridiculous how nervous I was. It had been at least twenty years since I’d even touched a piano. It made the eight years of lessons and then some seem insignificant; the Excellent certificate I’d earned at a recital meaningless. I arrived approximately 20 minutes early for the lesson, at Expressions Music Academy, smoking a cigarette of course. If I could have smoked two at a time, I would have done so. Then, since I was parked in front of a window, I became very self-conscious about the fact I was parked in front of a window, promptly put out the cigarette, and began…

Swollen Glands

I’m so sorry. I should have written this earlier today, but I kept trying to put a post together. It was actually last Thursday I went to the doctor with swollen glands on the right side of my neck. He said I have a virus, and asked if I’d been around any sick people lately. When I said I hadn’t, he said I could’ve gotten sick just standing in line at the grocery store or something. Anyway, I’m on 2,000 mg of Keflex a day and it makes me really sleepy, plus I’m commanded to rest whenever I get tired.…

Not To Worry

I’ll be back, beginning Sunday, to bring you Mental Health Awareness month. 😀 My posting schedule will be a little different: Mon, Wed, Fri, and Sun. Take care of yourselves, and each other. Ciao, Bella.

Illness

Faithful Readers, I’m sorry. I have been unwell all day today. Please come back tomorrow for letters R and S. Thank you. –Chris

Walking on the Wild Side

Originally posted on A Walk on the Wild Side:
Near Death Experience Illustration public domain If someone who is close to you is suffering from drug addiction, you know what I’m talking about.  Addiction, as horrible as it is for addicts, can be terrifying to those who love them as well.  Like it or not, if we choose to be in their lives and support them while they fight this cruel affliction, we’re taking a walk on the wild side, going places emotionally and spiritually, and sometimes even physically, that are dark and scary. And often we’re alone. Too often when…

Why I Don’t Like Al-Anon Meetings

Okay. This post might make a whole lot of people angry. Let me just start by saying I love Al-Anon itself. It literally saved my life and my relationship with my sister. So let’s just clear that up, while you are looking at the silly meme on the left. It’s not about Al-Anon as a whole. Whew. There. This is why I don’t like the meetings anymore: 1. People complain about the same old things. I’ve been to a lot of meetings, and okay. I get that some things are harder to let go than others. But it’s really tiring and sad to hear the same person…

Are YOU My Sponsor?

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?” ~Rabbi Hillel I am currently a sponsor-less (wingless, rudderless) member of Al-Anon. This year September will be three years that I’ve been in Al-Anon, but my former uber sponsor and I parted ways amicably over a year ago. Since that time finding a new one has reminded me of the childhood book Are You My Mother? in which a baby bird is hatched while its mother is away from the nest and it…

Just Relax

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese proverb Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at other times move forward with it. ~Ray Bradbury It seems like everywhere I go people are talking about relaxation these days. My therapist asks me about my stress level, like it’s something that can be quantified, measured on a daily basis.  I probably…

Gambling on Goals

Goals are so crazy popular, aren’t they? I mean, I went looking for one quote on goals for this post, just one, and they were all so contradictory. Some said set your goals high and don’t stop ’til you achieve them. Others said it starts with the spirit, and if that wasn’t true, forget about it. Then there’s the one who says to set small goals and build upon them. So even the meaning of the word goal is somewhat sketchy. I know of a famous, at least famous on my terms, writing website, which has a whole board (forum) dedicated to the topic of goals and the…