Therapy

T (1)Therapy can be a very helpful tool to get one from “here” to where they want to be. So much depends on the therapist, and the relationship between client and therapist. There are as many different kinds of therapies as there are grains of sand on the beach, literally. I was going to introduce them all here, but I went on Wikipedia, and they were actually alphabetized, there were too many for me to count.

When choosing a psychotherapist, there are some important things to keep in mind. Like the fact that a therapist can be a social worker, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or someone with religious training. It’s good to ask a person’s credentials (or at least ask for a card) before you get too involved with them.

There are other good questions I always wish I would ask before I got too deeply sucked into a therapeutic relationship. lol Maybe next time. They are:

What theories do you use? Why?
(You’re asking because you want to know why they think it’s effective, not what they personally like)

There are many new techniques and ideas, how do you stay on top of all of it?  (look for “attend training, conferences, reading”)
I’ve read that [X THERAPY YOU ARE NOT PLANNING TO USE] is sometimes used with [PROBLEM I HAVE], what are you thoughts about this?

What role do you think medication plays in mental health?
(You’re looking for an answer like “it depends”. Some psychiatrists think “non-compliance” to medication regimens is like total rebellion)

I know everyone is different, but what is the time-range for this therapy to show some progress?

Have you treated anyone with issues like mine? What was the outcome? What was the likely cause of that success/failure?

How will we measure progress?

When do you start thinking about termination (ending the relationship), and what will that look like?
(e.g. will it be a shared decision, is there a set number of visits and then review etc).

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As for anxiety, CBT therapy is purported to be the most helpful. CBT is cognitive-behavioral therapy.

  • Cognitive therapy examines how negative thoughts, or cognitions, contribute to anxiety.
  • Behavior therapy examines how you behave and react in situations that trigger anxiety.

Personally, as someone who has gone through and is going through CBT, I detest it. I hate, hate, hate it. I find it tedious and time-consuming. But *sigh* that’s just me.

Have a wonderful evening, my friends.

Ciao, Bella.therapy

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

O (1)Most people, when they think of OCD, imagine the comedic detective, Monk. While he shows some of the fears, obsessions and compulsions that may indeed be typical, I think it’s mainly a caricature. It was still a wonderful way for people to be exposed to this particular illness.

The obsessive part of OCD symptoms usually includes: fear of contamination, having things in order or symmetrical, strong or horrible thoughts about harming yourself or someone else, and unwanted thoughts, especially sexual.

The compulsive part of OCD symptoms usually includes: washing or cleaning, counting, checking, asking for reassurances, following a strict routine, and being very orderly.

The two main treatments for OCD are psychotherapy and medications. Obviously, the best treatment would be a combination of the two.

I have never heard it called this, but ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy is supposed to be the most effective treatment. It involves gradually exposing the person to the feared object (dirt, etc.) and talking about whatever comes up as you go; being in the anxiety and not running away.

Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) has also been suggested for individuals who don’t respond well to either psychotherapy or medications. People should be warned it hasn’t been thoroughly tested.

Coping with OCD can be difficult. There are things we can do to help us get through, such as: join a support group, find a healthy outlet (like a hobby), or learn relaxation and stress management.

Hope this was helpful. Have a wonderful Friday!!

Ciao, Bella.
bother you

Hardwired

handsH (1)There is some debate as to whether or not one is hardwired to be anxious. According to dictionary.com, hardwired means “pertaining to or being an intrinsic and relatively unmodifiable behavior pattern.” To me, that almost sounds instinctive, something done without thinking. 

In all the research I did, one person asked a question on a site. She explained her psychiatrist told her that her anxiety would be hard to control because after 25 years it would be essentially “hardwired” in her brain. Most people who responded were angry with the doctor for even saying such a thing to her, giving her a sense of hopelessness. One person, however, didn’t hear the hopelessness, but the truth in the statement. It would be difficult, yes.  I learned that anxiety and panic bypass the pathways to our left brain (reasoning and rational thought) and trap us in right brain (memory through the five senses), thereby stimulating the brain stem (fight, flight or freeze). What I do (or try to do) in therapy is an attempt to create and strengthen a new circuit from right brain to left, to bridge my anxiety with rational thought and circumvent that direct route from right brain to brain stem. It sounds complicated, but it’s really simple!

But, the debate. Jeffrey Hull of the Huffington Post (Isn’t it always the Huffington Post causing a stink? 😉 ) contends that our brains are in fact adaptable and changeable. He believes that if we have the thought “I’m hardwired to be anxious,” it’s because some part of our life is getting ready to be renewed, and we should in fact embrace it.

What, though, do you say to the seven or eight year old anxious child? I wasn’t raised in an exactly normal environment, so I can probably point to reasons for my anxiety. But there are many children in loving homes who have anxiety. How would Mr. Hull explain this, I wonder? How are these children’s lives getting ready to be renewed?

I’m so sorry this is so late getting to you. There are good days, bad days, and worse. I had some sort of muscle spasm in my back. I took a muscle relaxant for it, which helped a bit, but made me very sleepy. Hope you had/have a wonderful day!

Peace out. 🙂

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

G (1)I saw one of my favorite therapists (of which there have been many), Heather, for two years. Each and every time I saw her, because I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, she gave me a seven-point assessment test called the GAD-7. These are the statements it included:

Feeling nervous, anxious or on edge? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Not being able to stop or control worrying? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Worrying too much about different things? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Trouble relaxing? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Being so restless that it is hard to sit still? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Becoming easily annoyed or irritable? Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day
Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen?

I didn’t know it at the time, but of course now I know. It’s scored 0-3, where “not at all=0, several days =1, more than half the days=2 and nearly every day=3. So, like, the higher you score, the more challenges you are facing.
Anxiety-girlIn the beginning, when I first took the GAD-7s,  I fudged my answers. I didn’t know it was for my benefit, and that the more candid I was, the better Heather was able to help me. But the weirdest thing about GAD, for me? How often it comes from out of nowhere, BAM! 

I can be in a safe place, with safe people, feeling somewhat relaxed, and suddenly I feel my heart start to pound, I begin to perspire, and my hands tremble. I get that urge to flee, which is what usually happens when I get too anxious. But the worst part? There’s absolutely. No. Reason. Why. I’m. Anxious. I just know that I am, and I have to go about calming myself.

That’s GAD, in a nutshell.

Cheers to an anxiety-less day!

Peace out.

Coping

C (1)We all know what the word coping means. We could also refer to it as dealing, handling, confronting, or grappling.  With anxiety, it can take coping skills, which merely refers to the knowledge of what we’re dealing with, the ability and practice to handle it, to get through the situations we are faced with on a day-to-day basis. I guess I’d like emphasize the knowledge and practice part, because as long as we know our enemy and practice successful ways to defeat (him), we’ll get there–in my opinion.

There are as many varied plans for coping skills as there are the people who design them. One talks about coping statements — like “So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT?  It’s not like it’s the first time.  I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going.  This will help me continue to get better.”

In the articles I researched, I did not see this, but I really find that hobbies or something else constructive are important to distract oneself from anxious, troublesome thoughts during the day. For myself, it’s mainly crochet, but I also enjoy Zentangle, drawing, adult coloring, writing, and things like that. When I do these things, I find that I can concentrate just long enough that the rest of my mind can go away.

Other coping skills may include exercise, getting enough good sleep, talking to someone, exposure, staying positive, and getting involved or volunteering.

What works for you?

Cheers to the day! Peace out.
balls

Love Yourself Through the Process

exercise-cartoon1When I saw this cartoon it made me laugh so hard, and I was drinking coffee at the time. 😀 Then I realized it’s all about expectations and how what we think about things make them difficult. I hope that makes some sense. We dive into recovery and expect so damn much from ourselves from day one. God forbid we don’t meet those expectations. So when we can learn to laugh at ourselves it’s f***ing fantastic!!

When I told the brilliant Dr. Walker this morning (therapist) that it wasn’t fun making paper cranes anymore, and I told him the whole story about how everyone on Facebook (yes I have that much power) knows about my promise to make 1,001 paper cranes in the memory of an old cherished professor. So now it felt like a crushing burden, and it wasn’t a joy any longer. I kept putting it off each day until I was too sleepy. So he said “Why does it have to be 1,001? Why can’t you just make as many paper cranes as you want, keeping the fun in it, thinking of your old prof while you’re making them? The gift is not in the quantity of the cranes, it’s in the gifting of them, it’s in the meaning of them.”

forgiveHow’s your mood lately? Me, I’m ever working on irritability. 😦 I’m a work in progress. Mania is still at an all-time high, so it would be better if I could be in a rubber room right now, but it’s not an option. LOL  

Not so happily, I got in an argument with my sister again on the telephone this morning. Two bipolar people trying to both be right at the same time is so not good. We made up a safe word for when either of us feels things are getting out of hand: orange. Yes, orange. As in: “Orange you glad I asked you to stop talking?” 😉

After that conversation I got off the phone and just wept. But post-therapy, I decided the conversation belonged right here, along with my bad feelings, because I was being way too hard on myself: crapThen I walked away from the crap, literally turned my body away, wiped the stupid tears from my face, walked outside and looked into this:

beauty (That’s me ecstatic about the sunshine and higher temps of an impending spring day.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: no matter what you are recovering or healing from, it’s a tough process. To borrow a phrase, Rome wasn’t built in a day. We didn’t get damaged in a day, and we’re not going to get stronger, healthier, more empowered in a day either.

The biggest take-away I want for you to keep in your head with this post that took me forever because I kept nodding off (It’s so not you or the subject matter! Lack of sleep and problems adjusting meds is all. It’ll pass.) is this:

beautiful1

Be careful who you give your power to. Peace out. xx

Anticipation…..it’s making me wait!

dr. walkerIt was hard to wait all morning to meet my new therapist, Dr. Walker. Anticipation and expectation had my mind going in all sorts of directions. “Will he want me as a client? Will he decide I’m just too much to deal with? What if he gets sick of me?….What if..he can’t fix me?”

Then I got lost. There are only two things that can terrify me more than anything. Getting lost and not finding my way or, worse than that, when a spider drops off the ceiling without my knowledge and lands on my person. I think the spider is scarier. ‘Cause I found my way to Dr. Walker.

What do I like best about him? He’s funny and has a great laugh. I told him how my irritability from the mania has spread to strangers. You know how people will sometimes pull right up to the gas station door if they just have to run in to buy cigs or a Pepsi or something? Even though there are perfectly good parking spots for just such a reason, including handicapped spots? Now, I know it’s really cold out, true. But I park in the spots and, by extension, so should every other person on God’s green earth.

Yesterday, two people were pulled up in front of the gas station when I parked and went in. As each of them came out of the door, I said (I still can’t believe this), “Is it that cold out? You see there are parking spots to park. In fact, I’m in such a spot.”

And you know how Dr. Walker reacted? He laughed. LOVE that. Because by the time I was done telling the story I was laughing too. I normally would shrug off people who park there. What’s the big deal? So what? Walk around them. They’re in a hurry; there’s a fire. 😉

The other thing I like is his approach to treatment, although I only remember two things he said, one of which is above. I made a quote meme out of it. The other thing he said at the end was, “I need you to contract not to suicide, because I can’t treat you if you’re dead.” Ha ha ha ha

Peace out. xo