Tagged God

Gambling on Goals

Goals are so crazy popular, aren’t they? I mean, I went looking for one quote on goals for this post, just one, and they were all so contradictory. Some said set your goals high and don’t stop ’til you achieve them. Others said it starts with the spirit, and if that wasn’t true, forget about it. Then there’s the one who says to set small goals and build upon them. So even the meaning of the word goal is somewhat sketchy. I know of a famous, at least famous on my terms, writing website, which has a whole board (forum) dedicated to the topic of goals and the…

Have Faith, Dear Reader

Happy New Year! It feels so weird to be saying “Twenty Thirteen” instead of “Two Thousand and Twelve,” but also a lot easier. Although I suppose some people already were saying “Twenty Twelve.” Still, for me it’s something new and amazing. New years often bring new beginnings, new adaptations, and changes. This blog is going to undergo some radical (as in fun, creative, and revolutionary) changes, and I’m hoping you are able to adapt with me. But I have been unhappy for a while and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I realized I was writing mostly to make you the…

Holiday Peace Be With You

Peace, both individual and world peace in general, has everything to do with the 3rd step I’ve learned in Al-Anon – made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.  Yesterday was both Humbug Day and Look at the Bright Side Day. How unusual, even ironic, to have two polar opposite views and feelings during the season occur on the exact same day. I have had to revisit Step Three a whole lot during the last few weeks. Because of my codependency, I sometimes still have issues with boundaries. I let other…

This Too Shall Pass

When things go wrong, as they sometimes do, I’m reminded by this slogan to hold on loosely; when things are going well, as they sometimes do too, I remember to hold on loosely but treasure each moment. Nothing lasts forever, and this too shall pass.  I made a choice yesterday in reaction to confusion, anger, and fear—none of which are, of course, good foundations for decision-making. I decided to stay off Facebook until December 26th. There had been too much sadness, arguing, and general ugliness which I witnessed, and there were some other personal issues involved. Holidays can be so difficult, especially if…

Steps To Save Your Sanity!

I hope it doesn’t make me heartless to not write about the tragedy in Connecticut yesterday. I’m just as shocked and broken up as any of you, but I’m just choosing not to write about it. Today, keeping in the holiday theme of the month, I thought we’d talk about how to hang on to our sanity during this time. It can be difficult with family obligations, financial crises, or other high stress situations. Just fill in this blank: “The toughest part of the holidays is most definitely _____.” Now, let’s figure out how to deal with whatever you (or…

Let Go of Expectations and Outcomes

I’m learning there’s a reason “Let go” comes before “Let God” in that particular recovery slogan. Have you ever watched a baby just before she falls asleep, if you happen to be blessed enough to hold her in your arms? The eyelids fight to stay open. They flutter closed, the tiny hands begin to relax . . . and then boom! The legs kick out again, the hands clench into little fists and the eyelids struggle sooo hard to stay open. Just one more minute. Not ready for sleep quite yet. Might miss something. Yawn.  Finally, the battle ends and the eyes close…

Grateful Thoughts

“A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude.” –Bruce Wilkinson Sometimes it’s difficult to be grateful. When I first joined Al-Anon, I had to search for things to be grateful over. I mean, I had to search. At first, it was little, tiny things like “putting my feet on the floor” in the morning as I got out of bed, being grateful that I “had feet” to put on the floor . . . I’m not sure why that was. Maybe I was so focused on fixing the alcoholic in my life, so angry that I was even there in the first…

Seven Sure Signs You Are NOT Codependent

1. NO is your favorite word, so it’s never a problem for you to say it when someone makes a request. 2. You never do anything for someone that they are quite capable of doing for themselves. 3. You aren’t loaded up with guilt and shame for things you didn’t do. 4. You detach with love, and not resentment. 5. Far from perfect, you are a work in progress, and you take your own inventory (take stock of what’s going on inside) regularly. 6. You don’t worry about what the loved one in your life might do, say…etc. 7. You…

God Comes First In The Serenity Prayer

“Every now and again take a good look at something not made with hands—a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream. There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world.” –Sidney Lovett When I pray the serenity prayer, I place a special emphasis on the first word, “God.” Now, don’t stop reading at this point. See, what I love about the Al-Anon program and the CoDA (Codependency Anonymous) program is they allow for each to come the “God of his own understanding.” I had a…

Accepting Change

Wednesday was a difficult day for me, and I thought I had lost all the ground I had previously gained in Al-Anon and then some. That was the day we picked up my sister from jail, and subsequently spent 11 hours in the car driving her around, back and forth from her probation officer to different places, only to have doors slammed in our faces and told to go back here or there . . . I admit, I lost my cool a time or two. I don’t do freeway driving well, and I had to listen to Stella (my…

The Curious Paradox

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. (Carl Rogers). At this morning’s Al-Anon meeting, the topic of the table was about being powerless. I knew all about the powerlessness over the alcoholic, over other people, places, and things. This I had come face-to-face with many times. But then someone at the table mentioned being powerless over her own self, and it felt like all the air been sucked right out of me. That’s it! That’s what I’ve been feeling over the last couple of weeks. Powerless over myself. But how can that be?…

Book Review: Though The Bud Be Bruised

What would you do if you found a note written by your daughter saying she had been sexually molested by a member of your church, a friend of the family? This is the terrible truth and problem that Issy and her parents, Zara and Sam Heymer must face as Christians. Though The Bud Be Bruised, by Jo Wanmer: 2012, Even Before Publishing, a Division of Wombat Books. ISBN: 978-1-922074-07-2. Amazon link: Though The Bud Be Bruised. This book is based on a true story, and it is not an easy read. What I mean to say is, it is about a young…

The Easy Way Or The True-To-Yourself Way?

Sometimes the limited choices we have can make us feel as if we’re caught between a rock and a hard place. Try and imagine the following situations, and think of how you would honestly respond: The telephone rings. You answer it before checking the caller I.D. It’s your alcoholic loved one.  “I need a ride to get cigarettes/to get to a meeting/to get groceries/to get to my doctor appointment. I wouldn’t bother you, except I’ve tried everyone I know.” You know she’s had her car taken away due to four DUI’s but also know she lies and manipulates. “Will you…

Seven Steps to Change When That’s The Last Thing You Want

It’s the truth. Change isn’t easy. Ask the caterpillar who morphs into a beautiful butterfly. He spends all the time in a cocoon. No one asked him if he wanted to become a beautiful butterfly. Did they? He just became one, over time. We don’t really have a choice, either. We change, or stagnate. Things that stagnate become stale, foul, sluggish, and dull. If you really hate change, like some of us do, here are seven steps to help you get through in roughly one piece 😉 : 1. Put your worries in a God Box. Or a cookie jar, or whatever works…

Let Go and Let God in Everything

In white water rafting, if you go against the current, if you don’t paddle very hard toward where the flow of water is going, you’re likely to capsize. I know this from experience. I only did it once. 😉 It was enough. Today at Senior Choral practice there was a lot of uncertainty. Those of us who had been there last Friday and auditioned for solo or small group singing parts had expected to hear about possible songs we were going to be singing. James, our fearless leader, said, “Now, we’re picking songs based on what we think might sound good for…

What I Learned About “Listen And Learn”

Let’s be real. There’s so much information we are confronted with on a daily basis, it’s a wonder we can absorb even the  infinitesimal amounts we do, without losing our minds. It’s even worse if you are a student. But think about it. From the time that we wake up, we are bombarded with thoughts, facts, questions, demands, statements, exclamations, commercials, hypotheses, fantasies . . . and all of that gets sorted through the amazing filter of our brains. Al-Alon’s slogan, “Listen and Learn,” reminds us that if we have the self-discipline to be quiet and pay attention to others’…

Who is Your Higher Power?

Often, when people get to the 2nd step, Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, they are not quite sure what to do. Many (including yours truly) have come from a place where they felt so beaten down they didn’t believe anything or anyone could fix it. I was told “Keep coming back.” So I did. I came. That’s all I could do for a while. I came and got my butt in the chair and I listened. I came and then I came to and then I came to believe.  It’s a process, and it looks different for…

Found Missing: A True Story of Domestic Violence, Murder, and Eternity (Book Review)

Don’t miss this harrowing account of a courageous woman who survives horrible trials! Found Missing: A True Story of Domestic Violence, Murder, and Eternity, by Linda Slavin  ISBN: 978-0-9840462-0-1 Lisa is physically and mentally abused by her husband, Vincent for years, and then he suddenly goes missing. The police, once they decide that Lisa is a person of interest, don’t search very hard for other suspects after that. Through this decade long journey Lisa finds and grows her faith, in a very difficult time. Although any reader might benefit from this (as did I) it would most help women who…

It’s ALREADY Okay.

My prayers have been fervent and many of late. At the Al-Anon meeting this morning, I asked for a table on Hope, because I thought that’s what I needed to talk about. The thing about the fellowship, I learn so much more from them than they could ever learn from me. I ended up learning what I need to sustain me during these next difficult days with my sister is faith. I listened to stories around the table about faith, and I wrote things down, but mostly I remembered what God had said to me when I got on my…